How the Talk Breaks Bad: Failure Modes in Career (and Performance) Conversations

In my last Blog, I introduced you to “THE TALK”, the recurring career and development conversation between a Leader and an Employee.

I wrote there about the importance of grounding The Talk in a shared understanding of the desired outcomes of the discussion as well as the Roles & Responsibilities between a Leader and an Employee.

In today’s blog, I want to dive into recurring failure modes which can doom THE TALK, making it a grand and depressing waste of time instead of a co-created roadmap towards mutual understanding and broadening horizons. 

There are predictable ways in which THE TALK goes off the rails.  Among these:

1. The Employee has no clue about their own ambitions or believes it's the Leader’s responsibility to curate opportunities for them.
1. SOLUTION:  It’s up to the Leader to ask questions and behave in such a way as to encourage the Employee to own their own career.  A Leader should provide development resources, where appropriate, but the desire and drive for growth must live inside of the Employee.
2. Message to the Employee:  no one will care more about your career than you do.  So, outcomes depend in very large part on your commitment and engagement!

1. The Employee has an unrealistic view of current performance relative to ambition, e.g. they think they should be CEO next week, yet they struggle with current responsibilities.
1. SOLUTION:  Be clear.  Be honest.  Ground them in reality.  
2. If they struggle to succeed in their current role, this fact is a major stone around the neck for growth and advancement opportunities.
3. They must fix what is now broken. 
4. Organizations tend to reward consistent superior performance over time.  The best way to advance tomorrow is to perform well today.  Help your Employee get this fact.

1. The Employee conflates opportunity & entitlement.  They wrongly believe because they’ve been around for a million years, the opportunities should flow to them.  In their flawed logic, they believe somehow, the organization owes them.
1. SOLUTION:  Help them gain organizational awareness, understanding that in a world of scarcity, the best opportunities must go to those who deliver.
2. Whether they like it or not, they are a part of a competition.  Don’t apologize for this fact or for having high standards.
3. As a Leader, there’s also an opportunity here to work with peers on developing a strong Leadership Culture, to ensure all Leaders are aligned to identifying and rewarding the best players; driving agreement on what “good looks like” and who those best players are.  
4. The whole Leadership team should be active in re-recruiting these best players

1. Leaders wishing to be “nice” by not telling their Employees the truth (also known as chickening out)
1. SOLUTION:  “Clear is Kind” (from Brenè Brown’s Dare to Lead).  Be professional & respectful, but also clear and honest on their performance, their runway and their ambitions, as you know them.  
2. Don’t abdidate your responsibility to your Employee or organization by sugarcoating reality.  This is the moment big time Leaders need to shine.  
3. Be honest about the context of your organization.  Maybe they want a role which simply doesn’t exist or requires skills/capabilities/training they are years from.
4. Chickening out as a Leader undercuts a performance and leadership culture.  It creates disengagement and doesn’t give your Employee the opportunity to fix what is broken, a thing about which they might be blissfully unaware.

As you can see, there is nothing simple about THE TALK.  Yet, it is critical for an organization to understand the desires of its employees and to be clear on the possibilities available within the organizational context, ensuring that those opportunities go to the best qualified persons who, by their performance and commitment, demonstrate they are the most deserving and have the best chance of succeeding.

I work everyday with individual Leaders and Leadership Teams to enhance their effectiveness.  If you would like to know more about how my Coaching, Consulting and Training offerings can help you and the Leaders around you improve your craft, please reach out and schedule a complimentary, no obligation Exploration Session at https://calendly.com/brian-jones-c4e/discovery-session

Until then, be well.

Brian